Thursday, November 1, 2007

An Open Letter to the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, Regarding the Upcoming Writer’s Strike

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: ,

headline image editor on strike, so i just threw something together

Dear Hollywood TV Show Folks,

If you’ve been watching the news, reading the paper, or paying attention at work meetings, then you know that the Writers Guild of America is preparing to strike, possibly as soon as today. Such a strike would have a devastating effect on everyone involved.

Obviously writers would be affected because you guys generally don’t pay them to perform no work (unlike your own jobs). You Hollywood producers would have to scramble to find replacement programming. This means the ultimate losers will be us viewers who will be subjected to lots more unimaginative reality programming, brainless game shows, and repeats of series we didn’t want to watch the first time around.

I’m here to present a possible solution to the looming writer’s strike, a solution which will satisfy all parties involved. My solution is this: fire all of the striking writers and give your jobs to any of the tens of thousands of much better writers who would kill for those jobs. I mean, who do these writers thing they are? Airline pilots? Air traffic controllers? Some other job that can’t be easily filled with a quick trip to the local performing arts college? No! Any idiot with a typewriter can give a hot cheerleader superpowers and turn it into the most-watched TV show of the year.

So here’s my offer. Pay me what you’re paying your typical Hollywood writer and I will give you 100 excellent TV show ideas, and I’ll write scripts for the ones you like until my hands fall off. Some of my ideas include:

  • A comedy about two recovering alcoholics who share an apartment. Each episode ends with them getting drunk and implying that they have sex. We can make them both guys if you want. Or girls. Whatever.
  • A police drama set on the streets of Detroit. It’s pretty much the same as any other cop show, but it’s set in a city with so much crime that you’ll never run out of shows. To save money, we could just tape some cameras to street lamps and we’ll have more footage than we could ever use.
  • A sci-fi series where, for some reason or another, the government needs to borrow famous people from the past to solve problems in the future. Episode ideas include: Sherlock Holmes finds the real O.J. killer, General George Washington wins the War in Iraq, and Jesus runs for governor of California.
  • An animated version of the greatest television show ever made: Baywatch.
  • A late-night programming replacement for the likes of Leno and Letterman. I’ll host it myself, and all of my guests will be celebrities who don’t know that they’ve just been injected with truth serum. What’s that, Britney? You snort cocaine off your child’s stomach? I smell ratings!

If you’re interested in any of these ideas, please fire a few dozen of your writers and contact me at your earliest convenience. I’ll have your sound stages back up and running with barely adequate programming in no time.


P.S. I’m going to need to use that cheerleader girl from Heroes for all of my shows. I hope that won’t be a problem.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Catch Nick on Fox Business News at 7:15am Tuesday

Author: Nick
Category: Money

so tell us nick, what is it like to be the totally awesomest guy---uh, did you just pickpocket rupert murdoch?

Just one day after the illustrious launch of Fox Business News, I’ll be a guest on their Money for Breakfast morning program on Tuesday, October 16th. I’m told that my segment will appear at 7:15am Eastern Time. The topic will be why Nick is the best personal finance writer in the world.

Wait—this just in—I’m full of crap.

I’m hoping they’ll have Alexis Glick interview me because she’s pretty hot.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Welcome to Punny Money, Visitors From Yahoo!

Author: Nick
Category: Money

punny money is always open

If you’re coming here from Yahoo!’s article on personal finance blogs (which just made the front page of Yahoo! and has me excited in my happy areas), then you are totally awesome. I mean it. You rock my financial socks. And you’re also very much in luck because a treasure trove of financial tips with a humorous twist awaits you here at Punny Money.

So please stay a while, share your thoughts on articles old and new, and be sure to check out the brand new Best of Punny Money guide which filters out the creamiest of my crops for your reading pleasure. And if you like what you see, then subscribe to Punny Money’s RSS feed and I’ll make sure that your finances get a daily injection of awesomeness and fun.

Friday, August 18, 2006

YOUR CHANCE TO BE ON TV! Noted Psychiatrist and TV Personality Seeking Couples For Show on How Money Affects Relationships

Author: Nick
Category: Money

you can be on tv

Here’s a great opportunity for some lucky members of the Punny Money reading audience. We’ve been contacted by the producers of The Dr. Keith Ablow Show who are seeking couples to appear on an upcoming episode which will talk about how money affects relationships and marriages.

be on the dr keith ablow show

So if you’re married or in a relationship and you might have some thoughts to share regarding the effects finances can have on that relationship, please get in touch with me right away! You can also comment here, even anonymously if you wish; but be sure to fill out the e-mail field so I can get in touch with you (your e-mail will not be publicly displayed).

Once I hear from you, I’ll send you the information you need to get in touch with the show’s producers, and they’ll handle things from there. Just be sure to let them know that Nick from Punny Money sent you so they don’t think you’re some random weirdo.

If being on TV might be your thing, then I hope you’ll jump on this opportunity. Please hurry though because they’ll need to hear from you as soon as possible.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Welcome, Business Week Online and Trapeze Artists Monthly Readers

Author: Nick
Category: Money

Okay, I’m partly fibbing; my dream of being mentioned in Trapeze Artists Monthly remains unfulfilled, but I did get an equally pleasing inclusion in Business Week Online. In Best Blogs for the Young and Broke, the lovely and talented Karyn McCormack talks about some of the best personal finance writers out there. Oh, and somehow I’m mentioned, too!

Nick Ferris, a 23-year old software engineer in Rockville, Md., started writing Punny Money about a year ago “to express my creative side” and measure his own progress with his finances. In between his job and studying for a master’s in computer science at John Hopkins University, he takes up a challenge from a reader to find out whether clipping coupons is worth the time and money.

“It hasn’t done much for me, and it takes time,” he concludes. “My time is worth $90 an hour to me.” He admits he’s only been able to collect that sum once, and he discounts his time helping friends. “I encourage others to compute how much your time is worth,” he says.

As for investing, Ferris has a 401(k) and actively manages it. “I check it every week and depending on how the markets go, I’ll adjust it as needed.” His next venture is starting a blog about the Olympics–essentially a guide to the 2008 games in Bejing.

I invite you all to see the coupon experiment Karyn mentions for yourself, and be sure to check out my article on putting a hard dollar figure on your time so you’ll know if all those money-saving tips you see are worth your time or not.

Oh, and it looks like Karyn let the cat out of the bag on my next project, but I promise I’ll talk more about it here soon.