Monday, February 25, 2008

Punny Poll #30: When Will We See $4 Gas?

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: ,

image produced by random funny picture generator

The previous Punny Poll asked when you would file your Federal income tax return this year. Over 40% of you said by the end of February, but we all know you’re not going to. Another 16% said they would have them in by the end of March, meaning April 15th. Nearly 5% said they would never file their taxes for this year, and the alarming part is that all of the people who checked that answer had U.S. IP addresses in the survey logs. Thanks for being jerks and not paying your taxes, jerks. For everyone else, your donations to the Help Keep America #1 or At Least #2 or #3 Fund are greatly appreciated.

A recent economic forecast that you won’t find at this link indicates that the price of regular unleaded gas could hit $4 a gallon on average in the U.S. this summer. What does this mean for you? Well, in short, anything that costs money will become much more expensive, such as booze and hookers as well as fruits and vegetables, unless those booze and vegetables use public transportation which they probably do not.

While some of you may be inclined to believe this report which predicts $4 gasoline by Memorial Day because it is written by experts in economic analysis, I think a much more accurate way of determining the day we hit $4 gas is by asking you, the readers of Punny Money who will just click the stupidest survey answer—because that’s the American way!

When will U.S. gas hit $4 a gallon?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Monday, January 21, 2008

Punny Poll #29: When Will You File Your Taxes?

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: ,

paying someone to do your taxes is like paying someone to bulldoze all those annoying pennies that flooded your front yard

Last Punny Poll put your English skills to the test as you were asked to pronounce the word “Punny.” I’m certainly glad only 1% of you pronounce it the French way (POO-nay), and I’m happier still that only 4% say it PYOO-nee when there’s nothing small about the awesomeness of this website. But only 42% of you managed to correctly pronounce Punny as a word that rhymes with money, bunny, and chunny. What’s a “chunny?” you ask. You’re in no position to be questioning my word selection when you are statistically likely to be one of the 53% of people who said that Punny sounds like “SUI-SEI-SEKI.” Hopefully your math skills are better than your language abilities, because you’re going to need them for the subject of the next Punny Poll.

Now that we’re three weeks into 2008, you should be receiving most of the documentation from your employers, banks, and other sources needed to complete your Federal and state tax returns. But if you’re like most Americans, just because you can do your taxes now doesn’t mean you will. In fact, it definitely means you won’t.

Hopefully your procrastination is worth the price you’re paying. If you’re expecting a refund of $1,000 this year, you are giving away somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 cents in interest each day you wait to file. Of course, plenty of you will likely owe money this year, so your reasons for delaying your tax trauma may make slightly more sense.

This year, I plan to have my taxes filed by February 15th, so they should actually be filed by March 9th based on an analysis of my previous years of tax return attempts. What say you? Will you join me on the boat of procrastination this year, or will you sail off into the sunset of… uh, taxes being done?

When will you file your Federal tax return this year?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Punny Poll #28: How Do You Pronounce "Punny?"

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics:

the actual punny money business card

Not surprisingly, the results of the last Punny Poll indicate that nearly two-thirds of you are financially irresponsible. Taking a look at the people around me, that fraction sounds about right. That is to say, it sounds accurate; there’s nothing “right” about being a moron with your money. Whenever possible, be a moron with someone else’s money. Of those few who have achieved financial responsibility, most did so between the ages of 19 and 25.

You’ll have to forgive the non-financial nature of the next poll, but it’s something that’s come up in conversation a lot lately. More and more people I know in real life are finding out about this website, so I’ve been handing out lots of business cards I had made featuring the name of the site (see above). Fully half the people who take a “Punny Money” business card in hand squint at it for a minute before finally saying, “Oh, PYOO-nee Money?” as in “the amount of money you have is tiny?” I assure you that is probably the case, so do not ask me for money. But that has nothing to do with this week’s poll question which asks how you pronounce the name of this here place on the internet.

How do you pronounce PUNNY?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Monday, November 26, 2007

Punny Poll #27: When Did You Start Becoming Financially Responsible?

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: ,

not the best time to wait to become financially responsible

Phooey on the more than 80% of you who said they haven’t tried online grocery shopping and don’t plan on it. I thought I would convince quite a few of you that internet grocery shopping with home delivery would save you time, money, and frustration while increasing the quality of your food. But that’s okay, you can just eat your expensive garbage you stood in line for two hours to purchase while the 3% of us who do all of our grocery shopping online have grapes fed to us by gorgeous delivery people. Grapes made of gold.

For the next poll, I thought I’d throw out a simple question with no right or wrong answers. (Well, there’s a bad answer, but I’m sure nobody reading Punny Money will select it.) Some people ask me how old I was when I started becoming “financially responsible.” For me, I was barely in my teens when I realized that I would need to assume the financial reigns of my household at a young age. I never went through the typical teenager phase of spending every penny as I made it, though that I meant I missed out on a lot of the fun things adolescents do.

[Read more…]

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Punny Poll #26: Do You Grocery Shop Online?

Author: Nick
Category: Money
Topics: , ,

an image so good i think i will use it two articles in a row

I lost a five-dollar bet on the previous Punny Poll because I thought that the most popular response to the question of “Where do you keep your savings?” would be savings and checking accounts. With over 75% of the responses, the overwhelming majority of you stated that you have no savings. Wow. I guess I need to talk more about saving money here.

Two people claimed that their life savings was invested in liquor. Seek help please, and feel free to stash your “savings” at my place while you do.


Yesterday we looked at the amazing world of online grocery shopping. I’ve already received lots of comments and e-mails from people voicing various opinions. Some thought internet grocers and home delivery died with the dot-com bomb. Others thought it was prohibitively expensive. Many agreed to give it a try. One already placed an order for 800 pounds of strawberries just to freak out the people at Safeway.

So where do you stand on using the ‘webs to feed your face? Are you willing to give it a shot now, or does the thought of turning megabytes into bites you eat still turn you off?
[Read more…]